With thee I wed

Masjid Sultan 20.12.2012

Congratulations to my wonderful brother on his wedding. I am swarmed with so much happiness, and gleaming with so much warmth every time I see the both of them walking together. 

Which reminds me of the very-predictable question which my aunties and uncles throw at my parents - when's the next wedding (for your daughter) going to be?

The grinning daughter - obviously, yours truly ME - can't help but shun away from this question and pretend that it is unheard of. Must I be the next one to get married!?

O.k, truth is my married (yay!) brother and I share a 8 years of age gap, which draws the line that I am still a little bit too young to be married nor engaged , seemingly so, if I daresay, juxtapose myself against my married (yay! again) brother.

HOWEVER, although I tend to think that I can be a marriagable material (sometimes so) I also worry that my partner-to-be doesn't seem so. But then again, marriage is not a play thing (cliche!) hence I decide not to push the thought further and let god determine my marriage age and have naysay on my future married life.

ACTUALLY. I was just kidding.

I have my entire future drawn out and carbon copied, with 2 sets distributed to my partner-to-be. Yes , 2 giganomous copies in case he loses 1. I am very sure that he and I have very much in mind settled on what we want in life. We want this and that, those and these and I can safely say we sound like a broken record when we try to reiterate what we want in the future. 

You know he is the one when you can talk about anything under the sun, put it on repeat mode and ... not get bored. You know he is the one when you plan for dates and always turn up wearing the same coloured top or bottom. You know he is the one when you pick up the iPhone > Messages> and you saw him typing a message, just in time when you are about to iMessage him "Hi dear".

It is a crazy feeling. Everything is crazy when you are err... 9 years together and still in love. 

I read a blog post once, about this bride-to-be who commented how she much previously she wanted to get married but something stopped her. She mentioned " [translated] ... how can I take care of my husband at that age when I am incapable of taking care of myself... I still needed my mother to remind me that I am wearing my shirt a bit to shabbily and she had to adjust it for me..."

That reminded me, yes, if I were to marry now, will I be capable of taking care of my husband? To ensure that he eats well, has his shirts ironed, has the right pair of socks worn, buy the right shaver cream , and in the case of marrying the chef himself, ensuring that I stock up the right groceries at home.

The list is endless because being a selective perfectionist, I would feel that I have failed miserably in life if I disappoint someone by underperforming.

Truth is, I gotten a little bit emotional during my brother's wedding. Tears of joy I would say, because I personally had known how hard it was for him to strive for this marriage. He took care of me so well, and it is so sad to see him go because I took it so personally, like he is leaving me and despatching all his brotherly responsibilities.

I just need to focus on what I want in the next 3 years. I hope I get to achieve them in the nearest future so that I can tick off the next Big Item from the carbon copy list and live happily. Ever after.

:)