aimless,like a white cloud

Everyone is fast asleep as my fingers are busy typing at this hour. Surprisingly i'm still bursting with energy. Maybe it's because of the book that i'm reading currently, leaving me in anticipation and bewildering thoughts about the outcome.

I can't help it but think about my useless state right now.
I can't believe that i wanted Zulky to call me so badly, but we ended up talking (or more like silenc-ing) for a mere 3 minutes, before we said Good Night.
I can't help it i have no allowance & i'm practically stuck at home doing nothing.
I can't help it that after so many times of sending my almost perfect resume, non of my potential employers bothered to choose me.

There's no way any one can measure my degree of boredom currently. It's beyond measurement. Can you believe it? I spent like half the day playing dress-up games online and making avatars and pretty dolls (after which i deleted them all), at the same time, wondering how nice that pixel-like dress would look on me real life. I chanced upon websites like missbimbo.com and was amused that there are such websites, and i busily explored the site, thinking that maybe that will be my sanctuary when everyone else is too busy to bother about me. But no,that website is worst than junk.

I got bored after a while of these fake dolls and decided to indulge on playing multi-player online games. Why multi player? So that i can chat with others and not feel like i'm playing some stupid loner game because i'm a loser. Unfortunately, it's proven that i am a loser, because i lost every game that my fellow chat mates challenged me, and my forlorn feelings just mounts up. I feel worst than ever.

I remember the days when i was in the bus on my way home after a strenuous day at school. I always choose to sit on the right hand side of the bus for it gives me a very nice view of the green field just opposite Tampines Interchange. Whenever the skies are blue, you'll see kites darting the clouds with bright spots. And i can remember telling myself, wait till i finish my A's! I'm gonna fly kites too!

But some things just won't happen, because sometimes everyone is just too occupied.

I just feel the need to blog because i feel that talking to myself is far more comforting. No one needs to listen to my endless complaints. No one needs to agree or disagree with me...

I felt awfully lonely today. I totally avoided my friends, and i don't know the reason why.

It's a brand new day but ironically, the same ol` routine again, for me at least.

Computer games ruined my life,
thank god i have extra.